I ship it (way too hard)
by CrzA
Summary: Izuku ends up running a server dedicated to his and Shouto's ship.


Fanbases are as much a part of being a Pro Hero as everything else is. In fact, it might very well be a much bigger part than Izuku originally thought, but it only really sunk in somewhere around their second or third year at U.A.—his memory is somewhat foggy on the specifics—when they were forced to take a class on the matter. Popularity—a pretty big factor that weighed along with everything else when it came to hero rankings.

Sure, the more people a hero saved, the more disasters they prevented, usually it would equate to a more established popularity, but there were always exceptions to that rule. Izuku didn't have to think much further than his best friend (and current housemate) for an example, given how controversial his stern-faced father was.

One thing Izuku never really imagined was that he would become so popular so fast. It started sometime after the first sport's festival, when his fight with Shouto was broadcast to all of Japan and gave him the fame of being 'that guy that broke all his bones'. Granted, back then it wasn't exactly good publicity, but people were certainly watching him. Slowly but surely, as the years passed, that view people had of him started to shift. Before he knew it, once he actually debuted as a proper pro along with some of his former classmates, he was already pretty high up in the popularity polls beside Shouto and Kacchan.

Now, having lived most of his life immersed in the ways of the hero world, Izuku knew that people really liked to pair heroes off. When he was obsessed with just being a hero, he didn't really understand it, but it only took him realising exactly how much he cared for his aforementioned best friend for him to kind of get the picture. One might say that's not exactly the same thing, but discovering the whole world revolving around _ShouDeku _and the investment these complete strangers had in an imaginary relationship between two very real people and noticing just how much his own thoughts aligned with theirs… it was hard not to understand.

Pining is, and will always be, extremely complicated.

Izuku didn't mean to fall so far down the rabbit hole, really, he didn't. It all started with an innocent search born out of longing, when Shouto was sent to the hospital and Izuku, lonely and maybe a little terrified, sought some comfort in what fans thought they could be. And then he found fan art, and fan fiction, and all these countless worlds where he and Shouto could melt into each other's arms after similar scenarios, kiss desperately with a need to reaffirm their place in the world, alive, hurt but together.

All these small interactions between them, ones that Izuku himself held onto dearly, were picked up by thousands (maybe more) and weaved into stories where they were more than just friends, more than just partners at work. That very big part of him that craved all of it and more latched onto every bit of content their fans conjured up out of seemingly nothing and he got… way too invested. Obsessed, honestly.

Imagines, headcanons, scenarios; all these things he barely knew existed became a constant in his life. He made a secret blog to join in on all the fun. And that was probably his biggest mistake.

Because it's one thing to immerse himself in the fandom, watching it all unfold from the side lines as he hopes the universe somehow makes any of it come true because he doesn't actually have the guts to risk ruining their friendship over his worthless feelings. It's entirely different to engage, to risk being discovered as he almost aggressively ships himself with his best friend who is currently sleeping just across the hall.

But Izuku's lonely heart doesn't care about any of that. Who would ever guess that some small random blog called _shoudekuinventedluv _actually belongs to one half of that same ship? He even avoids writing in Japanese to make it less obvious. And it's not like his blog will ever gain any traction at all, all he does is reblog the content he finds and freak out in tags. A million other people do that and no one bats an eye.

But then he decides to share one of the countless scenarios he finds himself imagining over and over whenever they say goodnight to each other and part ways. It's harmless, just sharing his overwhelmingly strong feelings to channel them into something other than gross sobbing at his own ineptitude to actually confess.

**_shoudekuinventedluv:_**

**_I like to imagine that Shouto would be the one to notice Deku's feelings and he would just kiss him goodnight one time, leave him speechless and frozen until it finally hit him what actually happened._**

It's simple, nothing to marvel at, and Izuku just goes to bed feeling like a small weight has lifted off his chest now that he has voiced his feelings to the void.

The next morning Izuku wakes up to a slew of notifications on his phone, people screaming and sobbing at him that what he wrote was beautiful, some asking for permission to turn it into fic or a comic. He blinks, stupefied, wondering how the hell anyone even saw it, when he notices that, out of habit, he actually added the _ShouDeku_ tag to the post and one of the pretty famous blogs picked it up.

His heart jumps to his throat and he logs out of the app, breath hitching as he forces himself out of bed and into his morning routine to forget this even happened. But of course he doesn't, because the whole day all he can think of is people making that imagined scene into a reality, or as close to it as he can possibly get. And love makes one weak to these whims, so Izuku logs back in and tells those who asked to use his post for inspiration to go nuts and be sure to throw it at him afterwards.

Not even a full day passes before he is already getting tagged in posts, each one completely unique in its own way, but all of them depicting this same scenario in which Izuku is rendered a blushing, bumbling mess by one simple kiss. It's scary how accurate they feel, given how his face is currently on fire from looking at the posts alone. He can't decide if this is easing the ache of his years-long pining or if it's only making him burn harder, the warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest equal parts exhilarating and exhausting when coupled with the fluttering butterflies in his stomach.

Still, surely this one instance is nothing but a fluke and people will forget him in a matter of days, at most. Except they don't, they keep coming back to the post, liking and sharing it and commenting with unintelligible keyboard smashing. And when the tags stop coming with more art or writing, Izuku is actually disappointed. And he knows he shouldn't push his luck on getting found out, but every night he checks the app he gets this overwhelming urge to do it all over again.

Izuku tries to fight it, he does, but when Shouto actually carries him in a bridal carry after he breaks his ankle one day and it's all over the hero gossip news, Izuku isn't strong enough to stop himself from adding his own fantasy into the mix.

**_shoudekuinventedluv:_**

**_I would sell my soul for Shouto to have lovingly taken off Deku's shoe and used his quirk to ease his pain afterwards._**

Once again, nothing incredible or even remotely interesting, even if no less the truth, but it was met with countless replies of "Mood" and "Sold mine already, still waiting for the payoff", and Izuku can't help but feel validated in his messy emotions and desires. So he keeps doing it. Scenario after scenario, lovesick fantasy after lovesick fantasy, and before he even has the chance to figure out how, he's got more followers than he can count and an inbox full of requests for more.

As he sifts through them before bed, a goofy smile settling on his face at some of the praise for one of his latest domestic imagines, Izuku pauses at one of the messages.

**_showdecks4lyf asks:_**

**_You, my good friend, are a blessing to this world. I wish I could talk to you so I could pick your brain for more of these golden shoudeku headcanons. We could gush together, it'd be glorious!_**

Even though he replies to as many comments as possible with his limited time, Izuku had made it a point to keep his messages restricted, not wanting to end up slipping on details that he wasn't supposed to know. As much as they are in the spotlight, most of their lives is actually kept quite private. The fact that he and Shouto live together is mostly speculation to the public, for one.

Gnawing on his bottom lip, Izuku leaves that particular message alone and answers as many of the others as he can before he starts to fall asleep. Yet, in the following days, he starts getting more suggestions like the first one, a call for a place where all _ShouDeku_ shippers can collectively freak out and share in their enthusiasm for the two heroes' relationship. And with each new message Izuku's resolve cracks even further.

He makes a list of the pros and cons of going through with it, and even though '**BEING FOUND OUT**' is written in huge black letters along with countless other cons, the shy little '**more fan content to drool over**' on the opposite side of the page never leaves him alone.

Izuku caves the day Shouto falls asleep on their couch and he comes home to find his friend sprawled like a cat in the sun, the thought of sharing that (not so) mental image somewhere it could be readily seen too tempting to resist. He creates a new email account and a new discord, god forbid one of his friends somehow hears of the server's existence and never lets him live it down. After some time pouring over the server's details, he shares the one-day link and drops his phone on his desk.

Not even a full minute later and there's already a notification, followed by another, then another, and Izuku feels his heart picking up its pace, drumming against his ribs so hard his breath forces out of him, trembling. _This is actually happening, oh my god, what have I done?_

Introductions fill the respective channel, all these people from all over the globe joining his dumb server for a ship consisting of two Japanese heroes. One of which just so happens to be him. He swallows thickly as he assigns roles, as people start amicably chatting as if this is the most normal thing in the world. Izuku doesn't have the courage to say anything at all until at least an hour into the server's creation.

Everyone is _so nice_. A couple of "She speaks!" echo in the text chat, people freaking out over who actually got the reference and bonding over their love for the old comedy. The friendly banter around him eases some of his anxiety. It's not long before Izuku is actively adding to the chaos and the conversation devolves to the topic that brought them all together in the first place.

Thankfully Izuku has the next day off, because he definitely spends the rest of the night crying over all the fics being shared by some of the fandom's writers and screaming at the artist's beautiful works. This server will be the death of him, but he's pretty sure that at this rate it's going to be a happy death. He's so proud of fictional Izuku for getting all the love he has failed miserably to seek for himself. It's kind of stupid, but Izuku is too overwhelmed by it all to actually think logically about any of it.

He is beyond grateful when a couple of people offer to help him moderate the server while he is busy—which given his line of work is a lot of the time—, and he gives them permission to hand out invitation links within reason to people asking for them. As the server grows, the content being shared keeps flooding in, and it's not long before Izuku has a folder full of art on his phone to constantly admire, and over fifty bookmarked fics that he definitely needs to read at some point. The environment in the server is so inspirational, and Izuku will often bounce off of other avid shippers, fuelling his fantasies more than ever before as he flusters over the screen.

It's like he's confessing to strangers and they have no idea, which somehow makes it so much easier. If only he could channel all of these enthusiastic conversations into telling Shouto how he feels… Perhaps he could think of this as practice, when he tells everyone one of his infinite confession scenarios that he has pictured himself in far too many times. Sadly, that would only work if Izuku didn't feel a cold anxiety spreading through his veins whenever he even thought of doing it while looking into Shouto's disarmingly beautiful eyes.

Still, he finds some respite in this small community he has found. At least fictional Izuku can be happy. Is it weird to sometimes feel jealous of a version of himself that doesn't even exist? It's probably a little weird.

A couple of months after he created the server, Izuku is lying on his bed, tapping on his laptop's keys to type out another one of his many fantasies, shouting it into the void for anyone who is willing to listen. More often than not, there will be someone online to share in his sobbing.

**_ShDkInvntd3_**_ Today at 10:37 PM_

_Sometimes I just imagine them sharing a warm meal on a cold winter night and snuggling for warmth and my heart feels fit to burst :sob: :sob: :sob:_

And then…

— **_Shouto_**_ is here, as the prophecy foretold._

A hush falls over the chat until people start joking about 'what if, man?'. But Izuku knows better. He clicks the handle and checks the number tag, slowly picking up his phone to log into his personal discord as well. Shouto is online. Izuku clicks his handle there too.

Without a warning, a short bark of laughter breaks out of him and he instinctively covers his mouth, telling the people in the server that he is going to be gone for a moment before slamming his laptop shut. Izuku sits there, simply staring blankly at the wall in front of him for what feels like an eternity. And then he picks up one of his pillows and screams into it.

This isn't happening, he is dreaming, this is all just one weirdly realistic and lucid dream. He pinches himself, hard. Nope, that certainly hurt. He screams into the pillow again and a knock sounds on his door right after.

"The first time I usually know to ignore it, but the second one has me worried. You okay?" Shouto asks from the other side, his voice muffled, and Izuku once again can only stare.

_No, I'm not okay. The other half of my ship just logged into the server I made to pine over him. How am I supposed to be okay?_

"F-fine." Izuku chokes out instead, his voice cracking at the end.

He can almost hear Shouto's raised eyebrow. "Can I come in?"

"Uhh…" _Yes, great answer there. You truly have a way with words, Izuku, good job._

Joining his hands in front of his mouth, Izuku inhales deeply, pursing his lips as he assesses the situation. There are two likely possibilities for this happening: 1. Shouto randomly came across the server's existence and decided to check it out to satisfy his morbid curiosity; 2. Shouto joined it for the same reason Izuku created it. As much as Izuku wants to believe it's the second option, he just can't be sure. And how is he supposed to confront Shouto without inadvertently admitting to being in the server as well? And with a secret account, no less, because _that_ isn't suspicious.

Granted, Shouto really shouldn't have joined with his personal one, that's just plain risky, isn't it? Not that anyone other than his close friends and family actually know that handle and why would he think any of them are in some random _ShouDeku_ server? Unless he knows. Maybe he found out about Izuku's online life and he joined to confront him. Oh dear lord, what if he is planning to reject him when he hasn't even confessed. Is that why he is at his door?

"I can hear you mumbling…" Shouto snaps him out of his thoughts, and he flinches, though he is sure there is a hint of fondness in his friend's tone.

"Yeah, sure, c-come in."

Izuku's cheeks are burning when Shouto pokes his head into his room, strands of red and white falling unevenly out of his messy bun. When Izuku is supposed to be making a very important decision on how to address this situation, it's entirely unfair for Shouto to look so devastatingly beautiful. It's distracting. He swallows around the lump in his throat, hoping his friend doesn't notice the tension in his shoulders or the stupidly obvious blush on his face.

Opening the door the rest of the way, Shouto leans against the frame with a curious tilt to his head, urging Izuku to explain why exactly he'd been screaming moments before. Izuku bites his bottom lip, weighing is options. _Fiction Izuku would take that leap of faith. Actually, scratch that, fiction Izuku would already be with Shouto._

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before blurting out: "You joined a server."

A beat of silence passes and Izuku feels his heart clenching painfully, his stomach twisting into more knots the more seconds that tick by.

"How do you know that?" Shouto finally questions, each word slow and measured.

In a lame attempt to cover his shame, Izuku hides his face behind his arms, opening his eyes but only risking a sideways glance at his friend.

"I may have… beentheonetocreatetheserverinthefirstplace."

Shouto blinks, taking the jumbled mess and slowly piecing it together into a semblance of a coherent sentence. Izuku can pinpoint the moment he finally gets it from the splotches of red that suddenly dust over his cheeks, fading into pale skin the closer it gets to the scar on his left. Bringing a hand to cover his mouth, Shouto clears his throat.

"Is that so?"

"Yes… Before you say anything, I just want you to know that—" He cuts off. What _does_ he want him to know? That it's not what it looks like? It's _exactly_ what it looks like. He sighs, hanging his head in defeat. "I hope you can forgive me…"

The only response Izuku gets for a while is a low hum and it strikes him like a knife, stabbing right through his chest and leaving behind a gaping hole that only fills with terror. This is it, where their friendship falls apart and he can kiss even his fantasies goodbye. That list of cons sure is looking quite foreboding now that he knows exactly where ignoring them leads. He forgot to add '**Shouto finds out and never wants to see me again**' to the list.

"I feel like a bit of a hypocrite but…" Shouto whispers softly, his voice shy and more insecure than Izuku has ever heard it. Unable to resist the urge, Izuku peeks up at him from under his curls. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"W-what do you mean a hypocrite?" Izuku asks in returns, his eyes widening slightly as hope sparks within him.

"Don't avoid my question, I asked first."

"Well that's petty, you're the one who joined a _ShouDeku_ server with your _personal account_!"

"You're the one who _created _it with an _alternate one_!" Shouto shoots back and Izuku snaps his jaw shut with an audible 'click'.

"Touché." Izuku takes a few deep breaths. "Are we both hypocrites?"

Shouto straightens his posture, casually running a hand through his hair to get the stray locks away from his eyes, huffing in the process. He walks a little further inside and slumps onto the bed beside Izuku. They face each other, cheeks flushed and lips pulled to taut lines, and Izuku feels about ready to die from both the embarrassment and anticipation. Shouto is so close Izuku can almost feel his cool breath brush against his heated cheeks. He wants to kiss him, but that would be entirely inappropriate.

"I'm going to assume that if you created a server dedicated to it, then you—" Shouto lifts his hands up to motion some air quotes with his fingers. "—'ship' it?"

Izuku can only nod, so minutely he almost hopes Shouto misses it. But of course he doesn't. His mismatched eyes lift up to the ceiling and he clicks his tongue, and if Izuku didn't know Shouto, he'd have wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole at the dismissive gesture, but that just means he's frustrated… usually with himself.

"Well," He continues, voice a little strangled. "So do I." He clears his throat again. "I didn't expect you to be in the server, let alone run it."

"We're idiots."

"So Bakugou keeps saying. I hate to prove him right."

"I feel you. Sadly, Kacchan tends to be right a lot."

"Who gave him the right?" Shouto smirks and Izuku smirks back.

"The universe is unfair."

Small chuckles fill the room and the butterflies are back in Izuku's stomach, spreading to his chest and filling him with warmth. They sit there for a while, the awkward silence broken by their occasional laughs and painting the scene in a humorous light that Izuku is more than a little grateful for. Better the tears in the corners of his eyes be of amused embarrassment at their own obliviousness than the bitter hurt that may have followed a rejection. Time lost is time they can make up for tenfold.

"So… Are you staying in the server?"

"I need to see what you've been saying about me."

"Please don't."

Shouto ignores him, already taking his phone out of his pocket and scrolling, a small smile tugging at his lips as he reads. "Cuddling over a warm meal in winter? But you know I like zaru soba."

"Oh my god," Izuku makes to snatch the phone out of Shouto's hand but he just lifts his arm out of his reach. "a man can dream, okay?"

"At least dream accurately. I imagine us spending Christmas feasting on hospital jelly."

"I don't even go to the hospital that often anymore!"

"You broke an ankle just a few months ago."

"NOT THE POINT!"

When Shouto just keeps scrolling from above, Izuku throws all shame to the wind and climbs on top of him to take the damned thing away from him, forgetting he is actually much heavier than he looks and ending up pushing Shouto onto his back, pinning him beneath his weight. The blush only intensifies when their noses brush together but Izuku doesn't pull away like he once might, just staring into Shouto's eyes and getting utterly lost in them.

Before he can gather his wits enough to properly react, Shouto lifts his head just enough to close the distance between their lips. It's nothing but a small peck, barely lasts a full second, but Izuku jerks back with a high-pitched yelp and Shouto takes the opportunity to stand back up. He daintily walks up to the door, looking back and causing his ponytail to whip with the movement of his head, a mischievous smirk gracing his lips so perfectly Izuku's heart nearly stops.

"Goodnight." Shouto winks, then closes the door behind him, and _that_ is how Izuku dies.


End file.
